So much of life is completely outside of our control—the people we run into, unfortunate circumstances, our genetics, our ethnicity, and more.
Yet many of those uncontrollable things are what cause so much stress, frustration, and anxiety in life. When they seem to turn against us (as they sometimes do), it can drain our energy and seemingly block any path to joy.
To enjoy more peace of mind and enhance your life, it’s vital to shift the control back into your hands so you can boost your attitude and your results. Thankfully, there’s one simple rule that can help you do so:
Controll the controllables.
I’ll explain how this works and how you can take control of the most important levers in life for much more happiness and success.
Why It’s So Valuable
Problems occur when we focus too much on the “un-controllables” in life — the things completely outside of our control like the weather, how other people act, results, and random external circumstances.
We start getting more emotional, which impairs our focus and clarity. Then, as we direct our energy on those limitations and barriers, we gradually feel more like a victim — once that happens, we lose our ability to be proactive, we feel more helpless, and we create a negative-reinforcing loop of bitterness and resentment that the world isn’t fair.
That’s why it’s so critical to “control the controllables.”
For all the things outside of our control, there are still plenty of things completely within our control to help us live better lives. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey refers to this as the “Circle of Influence”—the parts of your life that you can impact either directly or indirectly:
“Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase.
Reactive people, on the other hand, focus… on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization. The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.”
As you dedicate your focus to those controllables, you can start to make the most of your life, feel empowered, take action, and live life on offense, not defense.
I’ll be honest: It isn’t easy. Because when you’re fed up with things beyond your control that mess up your life, it’s frustrating. I know that all too well. But it’s in those moments that you really need to dig deep and direct your energy toward the few things that are still in your control and make the most of them.
By doing so, you shift the power back into your hands, give yourself the best chance to succeed, and create a positive-reinforcing cycle.
The Controllables
Admittedly, there are many more things in life outside our control that within. However, if we could pursue the best version of ourselves in the areas we can control it can literally change your life.
Your Values
No matter what happens in life, you are still in control of the values that drive you. The non-negotiables in your life. If you don't develop core values, I can promise you that the world will force values upon you. Wouldn't you rather be in control of them?
Your Attitude
It's been said many times that success in life is determined by how we respond to circumstances. Our attitude is the central element of our responses. Do you focus on the positives, do you practice gratitude, do you remain calm in the midst of stressful situations? There is no doubt that many circumstances in life are beyond our control, but we can always control our attitudes.
Your Effort
You can't expect anything of value in return if you don't invest anything of value to begin with. It is the Biblical principle of reaping and sowing. The law of the harvest, whatever you want to call it...it is a principle for life. We will all reap what we sow. There is no substitute for hard work, and while you can't control the results, we can control the effort we put in. If you want a good return on investment in life, make sure you are adding as much value to your world as possible.
What else do you believe we can control?
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